The Song of Songs (or the Song of Solomon) clearly communicates that sexual intimacy at the right time and with the right person is one of God’s good and perfect gifts to us. The Song of Songs celebrates romantic love the way God intends it to be between a young man (Solomon) and a young country girl who is called ‘the beloved.’ Their relationship is described in poetic terms and can be divided into 3 parts—the courtship (ch.1-2), the wedding itself (ch. 3-4), and their relationship after marriage (ch. 5-8). God’s principles of healthy romantic love are imbedded in this love story.
1. Sacred romantic love is evidenced by a couple’s delight in each other. This delight is expressed:
(a) through affection. “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (1:2). The first two chapters describe a couple who are love sick— who can’t wait to be married—and who fantasize about the day they will be one in marriage.
(b) through wanting to be together. The woman daydreams about running away with the one she loves and having him all to herself. She fantasizes about being together with him on their wedding night. She asks him where she can find him during the day because she wants to be with him.
(c) through their desire to build each other up. All through this love story, before and after marriage, they are generous with their praise for each another. When she is a bit insecure about her looks and fishes for compliments, the young man warms her heart by giving her an exaggerated compliment.
That’s the power and the wonder of sacred godly love. It releases your potential and your true inner and outer beauty. Such love frees you to be your true self. When you surrender yourself completely to the greatest lover of all, Jesus Christ, and base your identity in Him, you will be set free to become all He created you to be.
2. Sacred romantic love is based on the character of the other. In Solomon’s day a name referred to a person’s reputation or character. So when this woman says her lover’s name is like a pleasing fragrance, she’s saying, “I’m deeply drawn to the character of this man. He is a man of deep integrity, honesty, loyalty—and he can be trusted.”
Be very careful about the kind of person you give your heart to. Guard your heart until you know his or her character really well. Character is what you are when no one else is watching. Before you give a person your heart, get to know that person’s character.
3. Sacred romantic love leads to the covenant of marriage. The ultimate destination of romantic love is the commitment to be with one another in marriage for as long as both shall live. Don’t settle for anything less than that kind of love. It’s worth waiting for.
If you have unfulfilled longings and desires, bring them to God. The deepest longing of the human heart (whether you recognize it and acknowledge it or not) is the longing for God. Surrender all your dreams and desires to the Lord, seek Him with all your heart, and let Him seek your mate.
No matter how deeply you love and are loved by another human being, sooner or later that person will die or disappoint you. Marital love is limited to time. But God’s love lasts forever! God’s love never disappoints, and in the end God’s love is enough—if you seek Him with all of your heart.